The Penultimate Day

Tomorrow is our last real day with the kid. So this will probably be my last post reagrding our voyage. Tonight she has her final horseback riding lesson, but we're hoping to be able to continue this for her and her sister in VA as their birthday presents. She will be riding a different horse that has a lot more bounce, she's going to be surprised!
I don't know what we're doing tomorrow except for her "makeover" at Libby Lu. We had her on a chore point system while here, and if she got all of her points she got her makeover. Several changes have been made along the way, but for the most part she did a really good job with her chores.
I'll be a basket case on Sunday morning, and I think she'll shed a tear or twoor twelve, but it's time. Her mom misses her, she misses her whole family and John and I are missing our alone time. I can now understand why people like a bigger house. We can go into our bedroom, but she can still hear us, and God forbid the TV is on in the living room while she's trying to sleep. I guess if you grow up in a smaller environment it's different.
Hurricane Hannah may have come in like a lion, but she is defintely leaving like a lamb.

Breakthroughs

Over the course of the last week we have had several realizations and breakthroughs, which if we jump in the way back machine to when I started my blog it was about my realizations and now it's about hers.
Breakthrough Number 1:
We went to the podiatrist this morning, and there were only a few tears shed prior to leaving the house. She was really nervous and subsequently very grouchy this morning, I can't make my bed, it's too hard; I don't want that for breakfast I want muffins (no muffins were made); I ruined my shirt and have to change, etc. We left the house 5 minutes early and arrived in plenty of time to fill out the paperwork. She was very clingy, leaning on me, wanted my arm around her, I swear she would have crawled into my lap if she had been invited. We get called back, they want to do an X-ray first, a little unorthodox I thought, but they do it there, so OK. Then I realized that the X-ray will hopefully prevent any poking and prodding since he can see under the skin, 1 point Dr. Walker. We are escorted back to the exam room and I remind the nurse about her previous ordeal. Nurse asks if she can have a sucker, another point team Walker. Dr. Walked comes in, without his lab coat and introduces himself to the kid. Allows her to ask as many questions as she wants and draws pictures on the paper covering to show her what's going on, 1 million points Dr. Walker. Tells her to stay in flip flops and see her doctor when she gets home. Looks like she is going to have to have some major surgery in a few weeks though.
The breakthrough here was although she was terrified and she did cry, she didn't throw a tantrum. There was no screaming, no flailing of her person, no back talk, just a frightened little girl who told us she was scared. Fortunately the big girl panties fit just right today.
Breakthrough number 2:
So I noticed as she was walking yesterday that every few steps she needed to pull up her pants. As she got dressed this morning her non-stretch shorts were pulled on without being unfastened. I have to buy her a belt, not because it's cute, but to actually hold her pants up! I am pretty sure she is down an entire pant size!!! She had McDonald's for dinner last night and actually weighed her options, french fries or a soda, and ordered right off the kids meal menu. She did ask for a big milkshake, but I figure we've made huge strides thus far, even if it is only in the awareness department.
While these might not seem like milestones they are enormous and it has taught me so much. Must be flexible, must be flexible, still not really flexible, but a lot more so.

Hannah, come back we're not sending you to Cambodia.

Friday night we went to the mall to get her a new bra (don't tell her I told you..shhh), and a new bathing suit. Since I was still not feeling well, I needed John's help, (here is the story I am submitting to Vatican to have my husband canonized). We went first to the bra store where she received amazing customer service, we bought a garment that even on sale was WAY to expensive, but they fitted her to make sure we got the correct size, so I wasn't just going to leave. John sat outside in a chair reading a script. After this we went to one department store that had no matching tops and bottoms left on their swimsuit racks, so we headed over to the other store. The angels sang, and the heaven's opened as an associate pointed us towards the juniors swim department. Racks and racks of bikinis, tankinis, one pieces and those popular hybrids. So we went at it. Then it happened, I needed John, so I called him and he stayed by her side and made suggestions as she picked out suits while I attended to my illness. When I got back she had about 8 different tankinis to try on. So to the dressing room we went.
None of the suits were working and she had a little breakdown. I always thought it was mentally difficult for me to go bathing suit shopping, but an 8 year old that has half a child's and half a woman's body brings so many new challenges, that I could not previously comprehend. We couldn't find anything that worked, so we started out when the sales lady stopped us. "Have you tried a 1 piece?" She was adamant that she didn't want a 1 piece, but the sales lady directed her to the junior 1 piece, she tried on the first one and was sold. Again she received excellent customer service and took a size smaller than we had been trying on, so the angst she previously had had about her weight was gone.
All she wanted to do yesterday was swim, but since I was still under the weather and John wasn't feeling so hot, sitting outside in 100+ weather with scorching sun was not going to happen. After dinner we told her we had a surprise, we were headed to the pool. She was thrilled and couldn't put on her new suit fast enough. Also, just to make her fashion coordination one step better, her cover up, shoes and suit matched great. Damn it, how did this kid get better swim stuff than me? I mean I'm the one buying the stuff I wish I had the eye for me like I do for her.

This little piggie

You know the little game you play with kids, this little piggie went to market, this little piggie stayed home, etc. Well I'm re-writing it to make it applicable to us.
This little piggie went to art camp
This little piggie went to the ER
This little piggie slashed her piggie
This little piggie doesn't eat veggies without ranch
and this little little piggie got an infected toe and screamed bloody murder on our balcony all night long

OK so she didn't scream bloody murder all night long, but it was about 15 minutes, then again Thursday morning for another 5 minutes. Her toe (not the one that she gashed the other one) has gotten infected and it was a lot worse than we originally thought. So we confessed that a doctor's appointment was needed since this was above our level. She is TERRIFIED of the doctor, I'm not talking that she doesn't like to go (who does); this is, no maybe if I throw a temper tantrum I'll get out of it kind of thing, this is terror, and you can see it in her eyes. Her mom filled us in on Nurse, actually PA Ratchett, who traumatized the kid when she was 4. Mom if you are reading this, don't give me the PA's name I might punch him for joy, for the pain he has caused her, and subsequently the rest of us.
The mom and I conversed about a plan of action and her regular doctor in VA was consulted. Antibiotic ointment and and oral antibiotics, as well as a look at by a local doc. Yesterday I scoured the internet looking for a child friendly doc, got referrals from people as well as a local pediatrician. Called and made an appt for Tuesday, I read the doc's bio, and informed the receptionist that there would be no procedures or needles that day. This child needs time to process information and we are blessed to have the time to allow that to happen, of course if she has to have something done we may schedule it for later that day or the next. The receptionist was very understanding and noted her file. Now comes the hard part, telling her she has to go to the doctor.
I picked her up from camp and got her changed for her horse back riding lesson. I figured I would drop the bomb on the way to the lesson because she would calm down at the sight of "her" horse. I had previously consulted two ladies on their take and I combined what they said to form my own plan. As we're walking to the car, I used funny voices but laid out the game plan, including the doctor's office visit. I gave her all the info I had on Dr. Walsh, so that he wouldn't feel like so much of a stranger. I then had her repeat back to me what was going to occur over the next 5 days. She said "I have to put on my big girl panties". I almost cried from laughter when she said that, I had used that analogy earlier that morning with some severe trepidation that it was a mis-step, but I guess not. For the next 10 minutes we thought of silly ways to introduce ourselves to the doctor and by the time we got to the farm she had tears of laughter on her cheeks.
I won't be mentioning the doctor any more until Tuesday morning, and I'm hoping that this approach is effective. She knows what is going on and is reminded 3 times daily when taking her meds, so she can't forget about it.
Oh yeah also during all of this I was given some meds that I was allergic too, so I have been itching and in a good amount of pain this week, we finally figured it out on Wednesday night and I'm feeling a lot better, but I know my patience level hasn't been the highest this week.

Edit to previous post

She did want to call her mom. I should have edited more carefully prior to posting.

Tired=I Have A Headache

Apparently this is true for most 8 year olds, they don't feel well, so they have a headache or a stomach ache, our kid uses the first. Monday night I was home from work a little early because I was under the weather, at 4:45 we got a call from the gym saying we needed to pick her up she had a headache. She had told John that morning that she didn't want to go to yoga, after months of saying that she did, so we thought this was a ploy to get out of it.
We get to the gym and she's lying on a bean bag in the noisy baby play area, John rubbed her back while I gave her the Tylenol. We informed her of her options, "We would like for you to try and go to yoga class, because its very relaxing", she informed us that it was always loud, we told her that it was only the instructor talking no one else; if she wasn't up for yoga then she needed to go home and go to bed. Boy were we surprised when she said she would try the yoga as long as I sat in with her. She didn't half ass it either, she went full out, I mean this is kids yoga, but she didn't call it in, I was SO proud of her. She put in a solid half an hour and then asked to go home, which we did.
We could tell how tired she was just in her body movements, in her eyes and of course all of the yawning. When we got home, I asked her if she wanted to call her mom, she said she didn't but mom wasn't available, so we called Grandma who did a fantastic job satiating her. After she was done I talked with her Grandma for about 10 minutes and we just gabbed and caught up. I went in to check on her after I got off the phone and she was OUT, I mean drool on the pillow, snoring, out like a LIGHT! John and I debated if we should wake her for dinner, fortunately the mom called and let us know that letting her sleep was the best thing.
We woke up a little late on Monday and I opened my door to go wake her and there she is sitting on the couch, writing out a dream she had and petting the cat. Quiet as a church mouse. She obviously needed the sleep and the 13 hours seemed to do her well. She was tired when she went to bed last night, but she did 45 minutes of hip hop class, and 30 minutes of dance dance revolution class, wouldn't you be tired?
Tonight we begin a new adventure, bra shopping. Hopefully the plethora of stores in Baton Rouge will enable us to be successful, otherwise I don't know who will have a meltdown first, her or me!

I'm scared of my shadow, but only at night.

This weekend was FANTASTIC. She performed her own "surgery" and the numbing agent seemed to work really well on the toe. We went out for pizza and then to "Get Smart" not as a reward, but because it was Friday. We wouldn't have been able to go though, if the toe hadn't been taken care of, not a reward, but a consequence.
Saturday we did a little shopping for me, and kinda chilled for the afternoon, before picking up her friend Meredith and driving to The Myrtles Plantation, which is one of the most haunted houses in the US. The kid adored the tour she can't stop talking about it, Meredith was a little indifferent. They kept snapping pictures hoping that one would have a ghost in it. I hung out at the bar while they went on the tour since I am a complete and total pansy about such things. The kid spent the night at Meredith's that night and I was convinced that it would be relaxing for me. No such luck I think I stayed in a half sleep/half awake mode all night waiting for the phone to ring that she needed something or was scared. No phone calls though, mission accomplished. As we walked over to Meredith's the kid informed me that she didn't like to run at night because her shadow scared her. ::bite tongue Mary-Tyler::
Sunday we met everyone at the pool at 10:30 and had the girls over for lunch around noon. They watched a movie till 3 when we sent Meredith home so we could get some chores done. The kid cried exhaustion and the Meredith card was played, "If you're too tired to vacuum you're too tired to have Meredith come over." It didn't stop the whining, but that's avoidable by going into another room. Eventually, after a few tears, she vacuumed the living room, kitchen, dining room and her room. She truly was exhausted and we knew it, but we also knew if she kept going she would crash that night. She laid down in our bed, WITHOUT arguing for 30 minutes until Meredith showed up.
I was concerned with her staying longer we wouldn't have leverage like we did with horse back riding camp, but there are so many other avenues and I feel we play the card fairly. No surprises, XY and Z need to get done before we can play, and we can't always play. Again consequences not punishment. That's not to say she hasn't been punished, the enormous "BURP" that came out at the dinner table at a restaurant on Saturday night called for a 5 minute time-out and a talk on how that can be better handled in the future.
She is in yoga tonight, and Tuesday and Thursday are private horse back riding lessons, care of our Aunt Ann. She's still not the most graceful on a horse, but her back is straight, and there is a smile, so those are just as important in my book.

Can I stay for another week? I don't know "can" you. May I stay for another week?

We changed her plane ticket and she is staying for an additional 8 days. For the most part she's doing excellently. I think what turmoil we have is just normal 8 year old stuff.
John and I were TOTALLY right on regarding the toe, now she has a big flap of dead skin hanging out on the bottom that she won't let us touch. No big deal but we'll be checking it daily to make sure nothing bad happens. Her new BFF Meredith came over for dinner on Wednesday and then the Collins' reciprocated and had her over last night. Only they went out to dinner, and our kid ordered ribs at a Mexican joint. A) What 8 year old orders ribs and B) who orders ribs at a Mexican joint? Oh well, that's a quirk, and it makes me smile.
Our Aunt Ann, has graciously volunteered to pay for some private horseback riding lessons. So for the next two weeks, the kid, John and I will be heading over to the paddocks from 6-7 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I hope they have Wi-fi out there.
Pray for a drama free tonight for us tonight, she has the beginnings of an ingrown toe-nail and the kid was previously traumatized regarding her feet. I read an article on pain management in kids, and I hope to put my new found knowledge to the test. Pray that I don't get kicked in the nose or eye.

You don't know what you're doing, you need to call my mom.

Yes, that's what we were told yesterday morning as the child screamed in pain and dripped blood from her seriously lacerated toe. If she hadn't been so very upset and blood wasn't going all over our carpet, I probably would have laughed. Fortunately for all parties, we did know what we were doing and got her properly bandaged and off to horseback camp where she did "x" jumps yesterday. She cried for a band aid last night before bed, but we told her how the wound needed to dry and would look much better in the morning. I can't verbally express my relief to you when I woke up this morning and her toe looked 20 times better, (I secretly was dreading that it would reopen, and we would lose her trust a little).
Tonight her friend for camp, Meredith, is joining us for dinner. We set ground rules last night, most of which are always in place, and we had her repeat them to us this morning. We're setting the ladies up outside, so they can chill and watch a movie while eating dinner. We normally all sit at the dinner table and eat together, but we wanted to do something special for her. Maybe we'll surprise her and get some ice cream and they can have floats or something, I don't know, I'm getting all wild and crazy.
She really seems to be getting into her point system. She was upset this morning when we told her Geraldine didn't need a walk, "How am I going to get my point?" But we have 2 extra points built in for just such occasions, so it looks like next week John and I will be terrified while sitting through a makeover session with her at Libby Lu. She also amazed me a little last night, when we asked about her vacuuming certain spots and moving chairs, table, etc she told the truth about what she hadn't done. I was impressed, at her age I would have lied through my teeth and hoped that no one checked.
We're looking into more horse camp for next week, fingers crossed that comes to fruition, if for no other reason it seems to be REALLY positive for her.

The Great Muffin Meltdown of 2008

Tired children = grouchy children = cranky adults = everyone needs sleep but is too tired to fall asleep, thus is our life.
The great news is today at horse camp the little girl who a few weeks ago wouldn't ride a horse was trying to coerce her teacher into letting her cantor today. Her mother and I were so over the moon we were willing to buy new shoes, new clothes, whatever she required. OK, so she really needed the shoes, and we just needed to hem the pants, but I probably could have been talked into a lot by her tonight. Just in case our horse camp wasn't good enough news, she had a second camp in the afternoon she had a good time AND made a friend. A young lady who is visiting her grandmother, who happens to live in our complex. The pieces are falling into place, the stars are aligned, everything is GREAT!

The Beach is So much More Exhausting with an 8 year old

Sitting out on the beach, drinking, reading and completely vegging......is not possible with an 8 year old at the beach. We had taken her to the pool a couple of times so we had an idea of what to expect, we knew what her swimming level was, but the beach gives way to a whole new set of obstacles.
First, I'm pretty sure this kid is part fish...no she's not scaly, but the fact that she would live in the water if given the opportunity. She insisted in wearing one of her hospital bracelets, (it's a cool pink) when we got back she was two shades darker, except her shoulders which were a lovely pink! All she wanted to do was play in the Gulf, which means that at least one of us needed to be with her at all times, since John and I actually like each other we spent the time together. Full of seaweed, and salt water and tons of people all I wanted to do was sit and read, but she took priority, plus seeing her having so much fun was so heart warming.
None of the kids wanted to watch fireworks, but fortunately they all got a long and ran around the golf course while the grown ups got to chill. Seeing the children run around with their sparklers was so endearing. They all got a long so well, they then decided that they wanted to race the half a mile back to the condo, we were thrilled, expend that energy, tire yourself out, go for it! We let all the kids sleep downstairs that night and we paid for it the next day.
She woke up grouchy, then stayed grouchy, so sleepy she cried when she couldn't get her bathing suit off. We bargained with her, if she was grumpy she got a warning and on second offense then we would come straight home. 5 minutes later she was knocked out downstairs while the boys were playing video games VERY loudly. She slept for 45 minutes and we had a great night.
Today we discussed that maybe some times the grownups are right and next time we call for a nap, she won't be so stubborn and at least entertain the idea, HEY baby steps here!

I spoke too soon....sort of

10am this morning John gets "the call", she fell at camp and hit her knee and head, the knee is pretty bad. He jots down he contact person's number and calls me right away. I can hear the seriousness in his voice the minute I pick up my phone, "Jot this number down , I'll tell you why in a minute". My heart sinks, thousands of things run through my mind in that nano-second. I grab my purse let the office know what's going on and head over to camp.
I get there way before John who was at home and who cooly collected her power of attorney, Military ID/insurance card, and children's Tylenol. I walk in and she was sitting in the rehearsal hall with ice on her knee. I informed her that "cage fighting" is not allowed out of the home, which brought a smile to her face. We discussed her options and decided to go to the hall and not interrupt rehearsal.
John showed up a few minutes later and we were joking around. Her knee was looking pretty rotten, had a lovely abrasion in the shape of a guitar pick, was almost twice it's normal size, and had multiple shades of blue and purple. We all chatted for a while and John to try and see if he swelling went down, after it didn't we decided to take her to the ER. We figured an 8 year old 1200 miles away from mom was not a time to be wrong about an injury.
So one of the hospitals in Baton Rouge has a pediatric ER, and it was awesome! From the staff to the facility, everyone and thing was tuned into kids. About 20 minutes after arriving at the hospital Danielle, our PA walked in for an initial assessment......contusion, fancy word for bruise; I felt like an idiot. They decided to do X-rays just to double check since she was there, everything checked out fine. Then the doctor came in, who had her walking within 2 minutes; (FYI this Dr. was made to be a pediatric physician, he was so gifted with her).
Hannah says that she wants to stay with me, and I inform her I will be going back to my office, she said that was fine. Thank God we have a portable DVD player at the office with several movies. She was fine, didn't speak 10 words until 4:45 when a policy holder walked in. No concerns here though, her manners were suitable for the Queen! I was beaming with pride!
She's walking fine as long as she forgets to baby the knee or we're not looking. She decided that hopping was a good option and while I encouraged her to walk as much as possible I figured the hopping burned more calories, expended more energy and would thus make her more tired. During this whole ordeal she was so positive, and happy, giddy and goofy at times. Fingers crossed that this behavior continues, because she's so much fun like this.
Tomorrow we cross state lines all the way to Florida. Her last day of art camp, performance, then a 5 hour drive. Prayers are welcomed!

Crisses Averted

I guess there are several things that you just learn when you grow with kids, but John and I are thrust into it, and sometimes I feel like we are walking the other way. Oh and to make things one step better there are the major cultural differences between Baton Rouge and the Mid Atlantic. For example, if I had had this child for the full 8 years of her life, I might know that horse back riding camp is only half a day. This is the lesson learned today, (it's only 4pm though, so I might be learning more tonight).
I heard from my friend who is putting on the horse back camp and she informs me that I need to pack her a lunch and pick her up at 2pm. Also she is not having camp on Friday and not all the kids are going to be there on the same days. OK, so we won't have the routine like we have now, but I'm flexible....right? So Auntie MT has 15 minutes of near panic. Not real panic since if push comes to shove I have the time and will take it off from work, but I don't want to. John reminds me that our gym has full and half day camp for kids. Call gym and they are fine with having her a half a day, probably, they have to call me back. Well that was 4 hours ago, and I still haven't heard from them. So I call for a different question, and they don't know the answer to that either. Don't they realize that I am truly not flexible no matter how hard I try and think that I am?!